Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The One Where I Write A Letter To My Belly


Dear Stomach,

You and me, we go way back.

I've forgiven you for making me throw up on the bus (in front of all the cool kids) in the 3rd grade. I've forgiven you for making me throw up in the Frankfurt Airport (in front of the 12th grade boys who were part of my exchange) when I was 16. I've even forgiven you for making me throw up ALL OVER (my now) SH's car just a couple of short months after we started dating when he picked me up at the airport after coming home from Hawaii.

I haven't complained (much) about my (ever-growing) pooch. I've learned to blame my ribs for sticking out so that no matter how much I would work out (as if!) I still wouldn't have a model-flat belly. You aren't even my least favorite body part - not close (I'm talking to you thighs and upper arms!)

So why, oh why, dear stomach do you continue to bother me?

I get it. I have a thyroid disease so my digestive track doesn't always function properly. We can work through that. What I don't know if I can work through is this sneaking suspicion that I'm lactose intolerant. Why do I think that? Let's go through the symptoms which usually start about 1/2 hour after eating pizza or grilled cheese(at least this is when I notice this the most):
  • Nausea (check)
  • Cramps (check)
  • Bloating (check)
  • Gas (check)
  • Diarrhea (check, sorry bloggy readers, TMI)
See stomach, here is what you need to understand. Cheese is one of my favorite foods ever. Baked camembert with cranberry relish (heaven on earth), pizza, mozz sticks, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, crackers and cheese, cheese and cheese. Do you get it? I LOVE CHEESE.

Are you just trying to get me to eat healthier? I can work with that. Want to make a deal? If I start to eat better overall will you allow me to indulge in my cheesy favorites every once in a while without giving me problems?

Please let me know as soon as possible because if I have to go to the doctor to get this diagnosed I have a feeling I'm not going to like the answer (I never like their answers) so lets try and be friends, k?

Love,
Soxy

picture borrowed from dumbaaldum.org
Posted by Sarah S at 10:02 PM
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14 comments:

  1. ha! I totally could have written this to my tum tum. Lactose intolerance sucks!

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  2. When I tell people I'm a vegan they usually reply with "I could never do that because I LOVE cheese too much" and then I reply with "I've never been a big fan of cheese" and then their jaw drops to the floor and I help them pick it up. I'm a total freak I know.

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  3. Kristie, My husband doesn't like cheese either. I definitely call him a freak all the time because of it (although he does like pizza, go figure!)

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  4. Poor tummy! Have you tried "Lactaid"? At least, that's what it's called in Canada, I think. It's a pill you take just before you eat a bunch of lastosey goodness (YUM!), and it's supposed to keep all the ouchies away.

    I am deffo on the CHEESELOVER bandwagon. MmmmmmmmMMMMMMMmmmmmmm.

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  5. sohobutterfly - No, I haven't tried it. Good idea, though. I'll pick some up soon.

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  6. My dear Sarah...I'm right there with ya Babe! I am a HUGE milk drinker, so I could have written the same letter to my stomach. I haven't gotten diagnosed because I'm afraid I won't like what the doc says either. I've done the Lactaid pills. They worked for me. It's just a pain to have to take them every time. But now that I think about it, it would be smart of me to go get some so my stomach doesn't talk louder to my boyfriend than I do!

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  7. Aw, your poor tummy! :( Ouchie! Hope the doctor has some good news for you! Oooh and maybe that lactaid pill that Natasha mentioned will help! Hopefully!

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  8. Maybe try cutting out dairy first? To me it sounds like you are describing gluten intolerance though. Have you looked at Celiac's disease? (I think that's how it's spelled!)

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  9. Hey Vanessa - Nope, I haven't tried cutting out dairy but that's really not an option for me. I haven't looked into much of anything yet - but afraid it's about time to.

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  10. I'm going vegan... It's tough.. But I too can't handle the dairy any more. And soy products have improved a lot over the past few years.

    I love cheese though... And soy cheese is just not the same.

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  11. Unfortunately I cannot have Soy. But I do have some good Vegan contacts if you're interested!

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  12. I was going to mention Lactaid too. My brother uses it and he swears by it. And if it is truly lactose intolerance, you will know because the tablets will either help or they won't. I hope they do! Giving up dairy would be a cruel thing to force upon you!

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  14. ummmm....no.....
    i need to find a new doc. and i don't wanna. *whine*

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